Monday, 24 August 2009


The vast majority of my dreams I never remember, but last week one did float around my mental recesses popping in and out of my thoughts at the most inappropriate moments.

Dearest Hubby say one of those moments and asked what I was thinking about, I told him.

I dreamt years in the future of SD coming to visit, she was now an adult and brought with her her beau, a rather dashing young man who kindly left his white steed outside (thank god, wouldn’t have a litter tray big enough, but then again it is a dream!)

Hubs was asked by Prince Charming for SDs hand – all keeping to tradition. I handed hubby a note saying ‘next will be the request to pay for said marriage (said like Jack Sparrow!). They will not be leaving here with a cheque. We have not seen SD for years and we should not have to pay for the privilege!’

I know, I’m cringing at that, the claws were out and there was a hint of cat like hissing and spitting is in the air!

As dreams do, it then jumped to a week before the wedding and Hubs and I were involved in the preparations at SDs house. Her Grandma was telling us in no uncertain terms to get out and don’t bother coming to the wedding. I then turned to SD and said your Grandma is paying for the wedding have a nice life and walked out.

If you can work out what my overactive imagination is getting up to when Im sleeping, let me know cause I don’t!

Back to reality!

First thing out of hubs mouth –‘Don’t use money as a weapon’

Not what I was expecting!

Then I thought about what I have used as a weapon, yes I have used money as a weapon. When SDs behaviour was at it’s worst she lost pocket money. Then I started thinking about the big picture.

Suzie Orman says:

Never use money as a weapon or a shield. Money itself has no power; our actions, attitudes, and decisions give it influence.

That observation could be made against practically any object or situation –

????? itself has no power; our actions, attitudes, and decisions give it influence.

Putting that in the context of a stepfamily. What weapons do you carry in your arsenal?

Is your arsenal full of positive actions, attitudes and decisions?

Remember: Do not let your weapons backfire on you!


If any of my fellow blogger would like to pick this topic up I would be most greatful. Still trying to get my head around the dream let alone the consequences of using money as a weapon within the stepfamily dynamic.


  1. I feel your pain, as they say. I have a stepon who chose to take a job 3000 miles away. My husband retired a few years ago, and I retired last spring. We have a fixed income. Last December, hubby flew across the country to see his new granddaughter by himself because I could not get time off from work during my company's busiest season. I was find with that. However, while out there, he had to stay in a hotel because they don't have room; he fell while there and broke his shoulder. Fortunately our health plan paid for all the emergency room expense but $50. Because he was in pain, he had to upgrade his flight back to first class, an extra $600. It ended up being a costly trip. Now that I'm retired he wants to go visit them again. We've always wanted to do a cross country road trip and see some sights along the way, so we are taking a month to drive out there and back and make side trips to the places we want to see. As far as I'm concerned, this is the last trip out there. Again, we will be staying in a hotel while we visit them, because they don't have room for us. Once we've blown thousands of our savings on this trip, I just don't feel like we can afford to go again. I feel it was his choice to move that far away, and they can come visit us. Am I wrong?

  2. My family always view on give and take unconditionally and with love, always out to help each other. Its the way I was brought up.

    You are both going on this road trip and with the trip your hubby made previously, (in my family anyway), would be only fair to expect that SS made the return trip next time around.

    I dont think you are unfair to think that SS should make the return trip next time, but my gut said for the wrong reason.

    'I feel it was his choice to move that far away, and they can come to visit us.'

    My hubby and I are going to have to move for his next job role. Not sure were yet, but it will provide a better future for us. It will not bring us closer to my SD, but will be further away from my own family. My family have already said they will help in whatever way they can and they are living in another country.

    If it were my SD I doubt very much that she would hop on a plane, if she had her own family, to see us. Thats because I know how she has been brought up, the complete opposite to me. So with that in mind I have no expectations of her, even though she is just 12 I still have to remind myself of that.

    I hope your hubby's shoulder if ok now and that you enjoy your road trip.

    I hope I have not offended in anyway.


  3. hi! I am gald you came by my blog. Maybe you can think of me this halloween. :)