Friday, 31 July 2009

Where is a Stepmum in the proverbial landscape?

A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea. -- Japanese Proverb

Put this proverb into the stepfamily dynamic and where does that leave a stepmum?

Are we the sun? - not even on the same planet


Are we the horizon? - ever distant

We can choose where we want to be. I know some may think 'no we cant', dependant on where you are in your stepmum journey; but always remember you do have choices.

I could have said I am the rock my husband stands on, but when I thought about it that really is restrictive when I know I have more involvement with my stepdaughter.

So I choose to be the Ozone layer, holes and all! Don't get me wrong, I do not see myself as the last form of defence before outer space, but that crucial layer that encompasses my family. My stepdaughter is the core, quite literally.

I hear you! Why do I include the birth mother in my world, because she is. I have accepted that and moved on, which has made things alot easier and stressfree.

Mum, Dad, Kid and Stepmum all have a place in the stepfamily world, it's just where you choose to put yourself!



  1. Great post!!! I always skip over proverbs like that one because I think I can't relate...but now I think I'll just have to look at them from a different (read: creative) perspective!

  2. Must admit since I have reached a good place as a stepmum I have more provoking thoughts. Just need to make sure i dont run away with myself!

  3. Amazing post - lots of food for thought. I think I'll be taking a look around your blog!

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

  4. Great post - I'm looking forward to reading more. Happy Saturday Sharefest!

  5. Great post!! Wish I was in that better place, working on it. Some days are better than others. I like to think of us as the ozone layer, without us nothing could survive, we are the glue!