A father's goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother's goodness deeper than the sea. -- Japanese Proverb
Put this proverb into the stepfamily dynamic and where does that leave a stepmum?
Are we the sun? - not even on the same planet
Are we the horizon? - ever distant
We can choose where we want to be. I know some may think 'no we cant', dependant on where you are in your stepmum journey; but always remember you do have choices.
I could have said I am the rock my husband stands on, but when I thought about it that really is restrictive when I know I have more involvement with my stepdaughter.
So I choose to be the Ozone layer, holes and all! Don't get me wrong, I do not see myself as the last form of defence before outer space, but that crucial layer that encompasses my family. My stepdaughter is the core, quite literally.
I hear you! Why do I include the birth mother in my world, because she is. I have accepted that and moved on, which has made things alot easier and stressfree.
Mum, Dad, Kid and Stepmum all have a place in the stepfamily world, it's just where you choose to put yourself!